I am nineteen years old, living in my parents’ home with three sisters and a brother. Our ages range from thirty to sixteen – no one is little anymore! At this time in my life I feel like living at home is an undeserved blessing. It is a door that is open to opportunities I would never have a chance at if I was anywhere else. However, I did not always feel this way!
My dad and mom got saved later on in life and as a result of their walk with the Lord and reading God’s Word, they came to the same conclusion: a daughter should live with her parents until her marriage and her father should continue to provide and take care of her needs untill then. Little did they know they’d end up with four girls and after all these years STILL have them all at home!
So we had both parents very sure that this conclusion they had come to, based on God’s Word, was THE way to go. The four girls on the other hand were NOT so sure. Let’s just say, everything didn’t roll along nice and smoothly!
Being young, you watch and see what the majority does and unless God works in your heart, doing God’s will (being “weird” to the world) won’t appeal to you. If you listen to the majority they will tell you to not let your parents influence your decisions. If you think about it though, all parents encourage and teach their children to go down the road they think is right. Most kids that move out at eighteen have been encouraged to do so by their parents! So whether you’re pursuing what the majority is, or doing the opposite, chances are – you’ve been influenced one way or the other by your parents.
I knew from the time I was little that to please God you must obey and honor your parents and I was happy living at home. I didn’t know what I believed on the issue and it wasn’t something I spent any time thinking about … until I was the one getting asked the questions!
When are you going to get a job?
Are you planning on college?
When will you live on your own?
Reality was: I didn’t have my own reasons. I needed to start searching things out for myself if I wanted to be any witness for Christ. So I went to the Bible. There’s no better way to find out what God’s will is than reading His very words. I had read the Bible many times but I learned that when you read with a question in your mind — you WILL find answers!
I will share a few verses that have helped me come to my own conclusion on this matter. These verses gave me standards and guidelines to stay within, since I want to be within God’s will when I make decisions.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother … (which is the first commandment with a promise) … that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. – Ephesians 6:1-3
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. – Colossians 3:20
But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, – 2 Timothy 3:1-2
We please God when we honor our parents. God knew who our parents would be. God uses parents to direct their children’s lives.
Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. …You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to. – 1 Corinthians 7:17,23,24
I don’t need to work at changing my life. I need to let God bring the changes in his perfect timing. In my case, it would be against my parents to get a job that required me to leave every day, or to go away to college. So for me, this would be wrong!
I have realized that there are many benefits from living at home. I’ll name just a few:
- A family to live with every day. For me, that is six people I need to love no matter what and get along with in the bad times as well as the good times. My mom always says, “If you can get along with your family, you can get along with anyone!” This is a challenge!
- I don’t need to provide for myself; my food, housing, clothing – it’s all taken care of! What a blessing! Thank you, Dad – and of course the Lord.
- I have the chance to help others, learn new things, read my Bible more, etc. I can fill my time with these things instead of having my day filled and not being able to do them.
So, will life be harder staying at home, helping your family and doing other things? In some ways, yes, and in some ways, no. Most importantly you need to know why you are living the way you’re living. Then next time you are faced with a question, you will have an answer ready to give!
(This article was originally published in Volume2 Number2/Summer 2009. You can request the entire issue in PDF on this page.)
Possibly sharing at: The Modest Mom, The Art of Home-Making Monday, Titus 2 Tuesday, A Wise Woman, Raising Homemakers, Christian Blogger Community, Coffee and Conversation, Hearts for Home, Growing in Grace, Imparting Grace, SHINE Blog Hop, Grace and Truth, The Homemaking Party.