Have you ever thought of waiting as a gift from the Lord? He has shown me by His grace that it is most certainly a gift and a privilege. I have not always known that but I’m so glad He has opened my eyes! It does not have to be a “trial” or a “struggle” but if we are willing, it can be one of the sweetest times of our lives with our Savior.
Are you waiting for something in your life right now? I am. I am waiting on God for a somewhat unusual gift – a husband! But not just any “husband.” I could have probably obtained that years ago by giving in to all the “matchmaking” my friends and family have tried to do or, better yet, picked someone out for myself.
But I don’t trust my own judgment in these really vital areas of life. I figure it would be terribly easy for me to make a bad choice on something so important and lasting. One day, when I was around 18 years old and had just left the halls of high school for good, I decided that I needed to give God control over *every* area of my life and I asked Him to choose a mate for me – the one He had actually designed me for before the foundations of the world! I asked Him to give me the man whose “rib” I carry deep within, the one that I could never be capable of finding all by myself, apart from God’s sovereign wisdom.
Marriage is such an amazing thing – a holy thing, something that perfectly demonstrates Christ’s love for us, His bride. So when it comes time for me to walk down the aisle, I want to make sure that the man I’m gazing lovingly at is the one God chose for me! For this reason, I have made the choice to not date. God has been so good to me and protected me even in the midst of *not* being homeschooled. It is with gratitude to God and a humble heart that I say I have made the choice to not date but wait on God for His choice for a husband. A radical decision, many tell me, but one that God has led me to nevertheless. As Eric and Leslie Ludy put it so beautifully, “I have given God the ‘pen’ and the freedom to write my love story, taking my error-full hands off.”
However, we must remember that with this beautiful idea also comes learning how to be truly patient and that is usually the most difficult part, because it’s hard to believe in what we cannot see. Through the years, the Lord has taught me several things about waiting and contentment and my once hasty heart has finally learned to “sleep” in God’s will until He wakes up my “Adam”. If He, in His sovereignty, chooses to never give me a husband, then in true God-given contentment, I can say, “That’s okay because Jesus is more than enough and my life is full and overflowing because of Him. I need nothing more to complete me.”
“Do you think God will drop a man from the sky?!”
You may be surprised how many people have asked me this question. Maybe people have said similar things to you. But what often bothers me is the amazing pressure of family and acquaintances to “fix you up” with a man for a date, even when they know where you stand on the issue. Oh, they say, it’s nothing serious, just dinner and conversation. Even the church is saturated with this “harmless, fun, getting-to-know-a-possible-suitor” game. It’s bad enough that large families are approached with questions, along with criticism and looks of condemnation. But well-meaning people (especially the Church) are discouraging young single women in their faith and obedience to the Lord as well. How disheartening!
My extended family and friends of the family have plotted many “set-ups” on my behalf over the years. From “the nice Christian boy at church” to the “prominent young man who owns much land and has a booming business”, they’ve pressured, harassed and even violated my identity by giving out my picture and phone number to strangers! And in the midst of all their work, I have sometimes vaguely wondered if I could have missed God.
But do you know what? God is so amazing that He has confirmed every single time that it truly was not Him at all. He has even allowed me to see some of these “prospects” a year or so later and the life they are leading. Wow. All I can say is, “Thank you, Lord!!” Oh, how He protects and preserves us without us even being aware of it!
I want to share dinner with my husband and be able to truthfully say to him, “Darling, you’re the first man I’ve shared an intimate meal with.” I want to talk with him on the phone when we aren’t physically together and sincerely say, “Honey, I enjoy every minute of our phone conversations together. They’re even more special because I never wasted hours of vain blabbering on boys or men I was ‘dating’ at the moment.” I want to cook his favorite meal and serve it to him under candlelight and be satisfied in my heart that I’ve never done such for another. I want to leave love letters and flirtatious little post-it notes in his lunch box or in his vehicle or on his pillow, and know that I’ve never wasted the ink, paper, or my heart in that way on another man. I want to “date” my husband, even if it’s a picnic in the back yard and have the assurance that he’s a keeper and I don’t have to worry about a “break-up”.
Will it be worth all my denials of the Mr. Church Go-ers, Mr. Land Owners, Mr. Widowers and Mr. Calls to No Avail? You’d better believe it!
I must add something else. Romans 4 tells us about Abraham – how he believed God, despite his old age and the “deadness of Sarah’s womb.” He still believed God for a son. It says he “hoped against hope.” Being not weak in faith, he considered not the circumstance or how things looked in the natural. He was “fully persuaded” that God was able to perform this miracle and it was imputed to him for righteousness. Romans 4:3 repeats, “Abraham believed God and it was counted unto him for righteousness.”
I love this! It was not his giving into what everyone else was saying or doing what his logic told him to do (just look at how the whole Ishmael situation turned out) that was accounted to him as righteousness. It was his faith in God to perform the impossible! Isn’t that amazing?!
Oh dear, precious sister who longs to be married but feels like melting under the heated pressure of well-meaning and not so well-meaning passers-by, please remember WHOM you serve! Remember that He has a plan for you! Know what you will say before the situation arises. Do not feel you have to debate or convince someone of your convictions. I have found it to be extremely rare that they are “won over.” Just state your faith is in God. Smile. Walk away if you must. But do not forget WHO is in control and WHO has the pen of your love story! And be reminded in your humble heart that your faith in God is accounted unto you as righteousness.
Check back for part two of this article – to be published next week!
(This article was originally published in Volume1 Number2/Summer 2008. You can request the entire issue in PDF on this page.)
Possibly sharing at: The Modest Mom, Mama Moments, The Art of Home-Making Monday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Titus 2sdays, Roses Of Inspiration, So Much At Home, A Wise Woman, Raising Homemakers, A Little R&R, Coffee and Conversation, Hearts for Home, Growing in Grace, Imparting Grace, SHINE Blog Hop, Grace and Truth, Fellowship Fridays, The Homemaking Party.