Recently I have had the absolute joy and privilege to watch my sister Sharon go through a courtship, betrothal and enter into the bond of matrimony. My prayer for a long time was to still be here to watch both of my sisters get married and I am thrilled beyond words that Yahweh blessed me in answering those prayers!!! (My other sister was married last November).
Yet some of the many questions people have had for me are … “
How are you doing through this?”
“I feel really bad for you, being the last older girl to not be married” (I have an almost eighteen year and ten year old sister still living at home … they were just speaking of my two sisters and me, being in our mid and late twenties).
“I know how you must feel!” others would confide.
It has always been well meaning friends but I sat back and wanted to shake my head. Everyone seemed to be mourning for me. But why? Yes, of course I wanted to be married but I wasn’t feeling bad – I was overjoyed!! So why should they feel bad for me? It made me stop and think.
Why do people feel sorry when the marriages don’t come in age of oldest to youngest? Why is it assumed that I would be feeling terribly sad, depressed or fearful of being left behind? I think a lot of it is because of the world’s way of thinking that “if you aren’t married, there must be something wrong with you!”
I must admit, from time to time, I have fallen into this way of thinking in the past. But girls, I want to share something with you … in NO way is this true! It may mean that Yahweh has you acting as a different member of the same body or has other things for you to accomplish at this moment but it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you, if you are where Yahweh wants you to be!
I look back over my life. Did I ever dream I would hit my twenty-ninth year and not be married? No. Do I regret not being married? Not at all! That is NOT to say that I don’t look forward to meeting and finally being with my Love! It just means that I don’t regret where Yahweh has me, right here and right now.
There are a lot of people that seem to have the mindset that if Yahweh hasn’t brought your spouse to you (especially by your mid to late twenties) …
1) there is simply something wrong with you,
2) you have missed the boat (i.e. your chance)
3) that life starts when you marry, so therefore your life hasn’t started yet.
Girls, I want to encourage you that these things are simply not true! My life started the day I was born and more actively started when I gave my life to Yahweh! He has had me so busy serving Him!
It has nothing to do with something “being wrong with me”. It doesn’t have anything to do with my “missing the boat”, for how could I miss the boat with Yahweh steering it to me??? I mean, wouldn’t that mean that if the boat was indeed missed (if that is His will for my life), that He missed it?? This line of thought, when actually thought through, simply makes no sense at all! Does it mean that at this moment He has me serving in another area? Certainly. But that isn’t wrong!!
Girls, take every thought captive! Don’t be discouraged that Yahweh has you serving in a different area than in what He may have another serving! Relish in where and how He has you serving right now! He has molded and created you for a unique and absolutely beautiful purpose!!! Girls, these stages in life change so quickly! Don’t wish to be in another stage of life! Relish in the one in which Yahweh has you!
When others come and seem to be mourning over your life, use that as a time to share with them what a JOY and PRIVELEGE serving Yahweh really is!!! Let them see the joy and blessings in your life!!
One day, Yahweh willing, they too will see what a joy it is to serve this God of ours!!! Until then, let them see that you do not regret where He has you but that you are relishing and using this time that He has given you for the furtherance of His Kingdom!!! That serving Him, regardless of what He brings your way, is SOOOOO worth it all!!!!!