“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privacy. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.” – Matthew 1:18-20
As I read through this past issue of Shining Stars, the topic for the next issue caught my eye: betrothal, and testimonies of successful experiences. Well, I have been married to the man of my dreams for about three weeks now and marriage is way better than I imagined it could be. To me, that qualifies as a success!
We had a three-week courtship period to get to know each other and then decided to get betrothed to make things more official. Both of us viewed this as an irreversible decision, save for unfaithfulness to each other. We studied it out a bit and decided to say betrothal vows to each other in front of our families, pledging our faithfulness to one another and promising to marry.
We had a five-month betrothal and were married on January 26th, 2013 in front of a small group of family and friends. The officiality of betrothal had always intrigued me and after watching several of our friends go through “breaking-up” with each other after courtship/dating, we both felt this would be the good choice.
So, now that you have a small idea of our betrothal, I thought I would write down a few points I thought might be helpful.
• Don’t forget to respect your father – this is one that kind of snuck up on me. Although I had always been mindful to obey Daddy’s wishes and ideas, after spending time with my soon-to-be husband, I found myself being occupied with him and his desires. Even though this is a natural transition of authority when you’re married, always be careful to make sure your dad still knows you love, respect and care about him.
• Set very clear standards – to avoid stress, questions and guilt, make sure you talk it over with your parents as to what they view on physical limits. Whether you have a “hands-off” courtship with a constant chaperone or you allow hand holding and time alone, it is extremely important that your parents know what is going on and you have their blessing. Curfew times are also a good thing to know before you go out. Keep your parents happy!
• Remember the littles in your life – as fun as it is for your younger siblings to have you get married, keep in mind they can feel left out and lonely. Don’t forget to include them and let them know you care about their feelings too. Take time for the littles!
Hope you find these ideas a helpful blessing!