Being a young wife and having been married only three and a half years, it is hard to read material on marriage and have it relate to me. Most articles on marriage or marriage advice come from older women who have been married for 20-‐30 years.
So here is some advice I’ve heard from older women that I think helps us younger women to avoid problems in the first place, instead of trying to fix them once they happen. (And can help the husbands too )
1. Understand your place. Every Man has his work. His wife is his Helpmeet, not the other way around. A wife is there to better her man, to help him grow and prosper. When he does, she will as well. Read Proverbs 31 often. This doesn’t mean a wife will serve him and gain nothing in return. Ask any married woman: the more I serve my husband, the more he loves me and serves me back! It’s the little things that count. Now I’m not saying that you can’t do big things but a little thing once a week will be much more appreciated than just one big thing a year.
2. Don’t fight! Just choose not to. It’s really not that hard. If I am mad at my husband and he asks what is wrong, I tell him to “leave me alone and I will get over it”. I usually do and it saves us from fighting! But sometimes you can’t avoid talking about it. When I HAVE to talk about what is bothering me, I try to do it calmly. I tell my husband how I feel or ask him about things. Understand each other. Realize that men and women are very different from each other. Both must try to understand that. Men see things very clearly. Instead of letting things “fester” within me, I have learned to talk about them with my husband and he has helped me see things the way they are and not the way my emotional self “feels” they are. I must say if you can have this kind of relationship with your husband it will be so helpful!
3. Now this is a hard one but a good one to keep in mind. I need to remind myself of this often! There is always an order. Yahuwah, your husband, your children, yourself, then your house. It is hard not to put children before your husband. Trust me! But as the children get older you can teach them to help put Daddy first . It is a beautiful thing to see the children serve their Daddy!
This may not seem to apply now especially since a lot of you are stay-at-home-daughters, but these are things to keep in your mind. They will be useful later and you will recognize the moments and remember things people have told you.
I know marriage is hard sometimes. It is a constant learning experience and you have to work at it. But if you are married to a believer (Yahuwah’s Word shows us that we are not to be “un-equally yoked”) and you both want a heavenly marriage, then it will come easy, be more rewarding and the good will definitely outweigh the bad!