When Abba YHWH stole my heart a few years ago, I had already spent plenty of time planning out my perfect future life. I would continue on as my wonderful self, and some day very soon He would reward me with the man of my dreams and the corresponding life of comfort, ease and bliss. I eagerly set myself to making lists of all the requirements for my Prince Charming: tall, enormously handsome, astoundingly rich, ultra-spiritual, flawlessly chivalrous, son of an archduke in some exotic land… Well, anyone who didn’t fit the bill simply didn’t deserve me.
Thankfully, when the Father started showing me that I might not be as spectacular as I had come to think, I began to rethink some of my ideas about how I should be preparing for my blissfully perfect future. New concept for my small brain: what kind of woman would the man of my dreams (my real dreams, not the superficial one listed above) want to marry?? I should endeavor to become her, not just waiting for him to drop from the sky!
This prompted a thought that has helped set my priorities straight when I become impatient. Change the Lydia before the Jay. I lack so many important character traits and skills, I quickly realized that there was plenty I needed to work on before I could be remotely prepared to serve a family of my own.
To help me on my quest of cleaning out the selfishness in my life and replacing it with the virtues of a woman focused on YHWH, I started a spiritual parallel to a hope chest, in a small notebook to keep me on track. I listed practical skills I would like to develop or improve on, such as sewing, natural remedies or teaching, but most of it is dedicated to character traits I need to secure in myself (i.e. sound speech, generosity, humility, gratitude…it’s a long list!) and areas of focused prayer for me and my future husband- who actually isn’t perfect (wow!) and needs my prayers. The pages are sprinkled with scriptures that I found encouraging, or pertinent to specific struggles, and there is ample room in the back to journal thoughts or praise to the King.
It has been encouraging to see how Abba has changed my perspective since I first began the notebook. Instead of daydreaming about an unrealistic superhuman, I can focus on drawing closer to my Heavenly Bridegroom who is perfect beyond my imagination!