Work, people, events, entertainment… So much stuff fills this life of mine. Even if there is not something constantly going on, it feels like there is, because my minds teems with plans and ideas for the near and far future. Stress is thrust upon me by family, friends, and work, and I choose to pile more on myself, as I accept and search out more opportunities to spend my time.
So much pressure fills my mind that I am prone to waste time with piddly, foolish activities. My swirling thoughts can’t seem to concentrate, so I seek escape and relief. I dream of having the peace that God gives.
In the midst of all this stuff, I realize that I need to spend more time with God. I think to myself, “If I can just get some time to get away from it all, to escape for a good block of time, I will feel so much better! My relationship with God will be refreshed if I can only get an ideal time to go and spend with Him.”
So I vainly wait for the opportunity to present itself to me, all the while squeezing in a little Bible reading and prayer here and there. As I engage in endless activities, never feeling quite right, and anything but refreshed, my thoughts continue, “When this time comes for me to get away, I’ll catch up on all the time I’ve missed. My fragmented thoughts will have to wait until then to fall into place.”
Somewhere along the way, I realized the truth that the “perfect time to spend with God” will never present itself to me. I have to seek it; I have to make time for it. I have learned that people always make time for what they care about and I must choose my priorities. As long as I put off making time for my relationship with God, my stressed out life continues to feel void and empty, worse as the time passes. As Jesus said, I am to “Seek first the Kingdom of God”. When I do this, everything else falls into place.
When I’m busy, I must seek God more. I must get away for small periods of time, since it is much more doable for me than large blocks of time. In the midst of my daily struggles, I must continually seek God and pray. I must look for every opportunity to learn of God in my everyday living. Whenever possible, I must choose to slow down; learn to say no.
Every day is a struggle. It’s a fight. A choice. When I put God first, the weight of the worries of my life is lifted. When I choose God’s way, I have peace. Most of the time, much of the future still seems to be in a fog. Yet there are times when the fog dissipates, and, as if I am on a mountaintop looking out over the vast expanse, I see; I feel; I know the ultimate purpose of my life, and all details seem small in comparison.
In the everyday, when the haziness starts to get to me, I remember what I saw on the mountaintop. So now I decide. Today. This very minute. What will I choose? My way, or God’s way?