The subject of what I will talk about, is greatly debated. Many people do not agree with me … and many people do agree with me. Whether you agree with me or not, I hope that you will glean something from this article. I am still learning about all of this, but I would like to share what I have learned thus far.
According to Websters Dictionary: Definition 1: “The condition or quality of being pure; freedom from anything that debases,contaminates, pollutes, etc.” Definition 2: “Freedom from guilt or evil; innocence.” Definition 8: “Physical chastity; virginity.”
Pure, According to Websters Dictionary: Definition 1: “Free from anything on a different, inferior, or contaminating kind, free from extraneous matter.” Definition 9: “Absolute, utter, sheer.” Definition 11: “Clean, unspotted, unsullied.” Definition 12: “Untainted with evil, innocent.” Definition 18: “Clean, unmixed, plain, pure, modest, virtuous, undefiled.”
What caught my eye, was the definition of pure: “free from extraneous matter”. The “extraneous matter” we read about, could be just a speck of dust in a glass of water. No matter how small that speck is, it still causes the water to be impure, just as crushes and infatuations causes the maiden’s heart to be impure.
This is something that direly needs to be addressed, particularly friendships with young men. “A righteous [girl] is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray” Proverbs 12:26ESV.
We need to be cautious with friendships with young men, even more so than in entering into a friendship with another girl.
I know my parents have regrets of what they have done, and experiences they wish that they didn’t have. They just did the “normal” thing, and played the dating game. Fortunate for me, my parents have learned and have taught me from their mistakes.
I have read many wonderful books with chapters specifically dedicated to the subject of young men. Some said that “you can be good friends”, others say “just be respectful”, still others say “by all means, have a boyfriend!”
Puzzled, one day I came to my Momma, and asked her about how I should treat young men. She told me to be friends with both girls and boys, but not to “buddy-up” with young men, like I do with my own girlfriends. We should be courteous, polite, servant-spirited, respectful, and honor then as our fellow brothers in Christ.
We should not be involved in long, serious conversations, or silly, frivolous conversations either. We should not flirt, or dress immodestly, for it might cause a brother to stumble. My parents do not think “tag” is a good game for boys and girls to play together, for it involves touching, and that might cause someone to sin.
I have followed my Momma’s advice, and found that my young men friends treat me differently, one of my friends especially so. He used to tease me a lot, but now he teases me very seldom. He had a lot of respect for me and for every girl and woman, especially his mother and sister-in-law, but I think even more so now
Girls, never tease or flirt! It just makes matters worse, and can lead to ruining good friendships. I am sorry to say that I have learned this by experience.
Right now, my heart belongs to my Daddy, and this has undoubtedly saved me from a lot of trouble and heartbreak. I am blessed to have parents who have learned from their mistakes, and teach me accordingly. I advise against friendships with young men, unless: 1) your heart belongs to your father, and 2) your relationships with your father and brother(s) are good. It is much safer there, than in your own hands. Unfortunately, I have learned this from experience too.
Talk to your parents about these things; talk to your brother(s) too. Your brother likes it when you ask his opinion. Take his advice about young men, because young men act differently around each other, and your friend might not be who you think he is.
Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the pure in heart … ”
Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick … ”
I always read Proverbs 13:12, thinking of a maiden pining over a handsome man who scarcely glances at her. Then I am thankful that my heart belongs to my Daddy, and is not in my own foolish hands.
“Well, then, why didn’t thou tell me all this sooner?” asked Jo bashfully.
“Now I shall haf to show thee all my heart, and I so gladly will, because thou must take care of it hereafter. See, then, my Jo – ah the dear, funny little name! – I had a wish to tell you something the day I said good-bye, in New York; but I thought the handsome friend was betrothed to thee, and so I spoke not. Wouldst thou have said “Yes”, then, if I had spoken?”
“I don’t know! I’m afraid not, for I didn’t have any heart just then.”
“Prut! That I do not believe. It was asleep till the fairy prince came through the wood, and waked it up. Ah, well, “Die erste Liebe ist die beste”, but that I should not expect.”
“Yes, the first love is best; so be contented, for I never had another. Teddy was only a boy, and soon got over his little fancy,” said Jo, anxious to correct the professor’s mistake.
“Good! Then I shall rest happy, and be sure that thou givest me all. I had waited so long, I am grown selfish, as thou wilt find, professorin.”
“I like that,” cried Jo, delighted with her new name …
Excerpted from “Little Women” by Louisa May Alcott
Won’t it be wonderful when WE give our hearts to our husbands?