When my older sister Sarah was working elections, I took over teaching my two younger sisters school. It got me to thinking. Ever since Sarah was about 13 she has been teaching something in our house. She started out with a medieval study. She not only taught us about the kings and knights, she had crafts that would go along with it. She was so mature for her age that we would tease her that at the mature age of four she renounced all childish things and began to be reading Ivanhoe.
When I was younger I thought Sarah was perfect. She had everything a girl could want. She was beautiful, she could teach with grace, she played piano, and she always knew what to say and how to say it. I tried to copy everything she did and said. I held her in high honor.
Then there was me, Rose. I was clumsy, and wasn’t very pretty, and I had trouble speaking in normal situations (I seemed to always say the wrong thing). When I was younger I was always comparing myself to Sarah, therefore I always came up as short, less than her, and not as good. But as I got older, I realized that I couldn’t be like Sarah. I couldn’t possibly be who Sarah is. It was hard for me to realize this, but it finally sunk in. Then a hard question came to mind: Who is Rose? I had been trying to be like Sarah for so long I didn’t know who I was.
Then bit by bit God showed me who Rose was. I found out I liked to crochet, bake, cross stitch, sing, and write poems and short stories. I found out who I was. Over the years I’ve wondered at some things. I wondered if I could ever learn to speak like Sarah does. I wondered if I could watch the kids and keep order like Sarah does. I wondered if I could ever teach like Sarah does. That week I was able to test out my skills. With Dad away at work and Mom and Sarah, working elections, I was in charge of the kids and school. I’ve learned three things this week.
- I can be very uptight and controlling when I think I have to be.
- I need to relax and love my family, even when I feel like I need to be controlling.
- I love teaching. I’ve been learning so much by teaching my younger sisters. It’s so fun to help them learn.
I’ve learned that I can’t be Sarah, but I’m learning even more who Rose is. That is the best discovery I made that week.