“So it was an arranged marriage then?” I have heard this line all too often since I married my sweetheart and darling. Most people that hear how Andy and I met, courted, and married, think one of two things:

? It was arranged (they do not understand it, and so they feel that it is wrong, by their standards),

or

? It is the sweetest story ever told!

And for those of you who want to know, yes … it was arranged, but not by our parents, friends, or even ourselves. Before I tell you who arranged it, let me take you back to the middle of last year, when I gave up my future to God, telling Him that I knew I couldn’t find myself a husband. There was hardly anyone in Georgia of marriageable age that I knew of, and I knew God had a funny way of doing things for His children, so I gave it to Him.

He found me someone … in Idaho, of all places! When I was first told to pray for a gentleman from Idaho, I was like; “What?!? Idaho??? Where in the world is that???” So I went to look on a map and thought; “Oh no! Not Idaho! It’s clear across the U.S.!” But I prayed anyway.

For those of you who have not read my story of waiting in the other issues…here is a brief look into my life from the past few years until now.

The year 2007 came and it looked to be a wonderful year, except that my heart was not where it should have been. Years earlier, my parents made a commitment to themselves and the Lord to raise up their fast growing family in His Word and Will, and do things according to the Bible. My heart would have none of it!

As a result of volunteer service in the fall of ’05, my heart was introduced to being I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. This is a word that should never be uttered in any young girls’ heart, as the consequences are extremely harmful to not only her, but her family as well. After coming back home, I was restless and wanted to be “out on my own”. I got what I wanted, and in July of 2007, I left home and vowed never to return. To make a long story short … the Lord works in mysterious and wonderful ways, and my selfish heart received a full transplant from the most amazing surgeon there is: God!

I came home on December 31st, 2007. The transition from being out in the world, to being back home under Daddy’s authority, was not an easy one. There were plenty of tears, pain, anger, and tons of other unpleasant emotions that no one should ever have to experience.

Around the middle of July of 2008, the wonderful P. family came down to visit with some people that we house- church with and we all were introduced. They came over one night, and Daddy and Mr. P. went outside to talk. Apparently Mr. P. mentioned Mr. Vawser and a few weeks later Daddy called the Vawser family, or at least; Mr. Vawser.

Of course, I had no idea why Daddy was talking to Mr. Vawser and didn’t have a clue until the day after my birthday in August. That day was September 1st. Daddy had called me into his room and Moma was there. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on, although I had hoped that I was going to hear something about this Mr. Vawser that I would like.

I did, though at that moment I wasn’t sure. Daddy told me that Mr. Vawser had a son my age and they were praying for God’s will to be done. Daddy wanted me to pray for him also, so I did. For about a month and a half I prayed. Only once did I see a picture of this guy that I was praying about. It wasn’t a very big picture, so I still had no idea who he really was.

Sometime around the middle of October, Daddy pulled me downstairs to talk again. He told me that he and Mr. Vawser felt that we (Andy and I) should perhaps fill out a questionnaire that Mr. Vawser had found. It had some really good questions. I prayed about my questions, filled them out and at the end of the week I was given Andy’s answers. We all were amazed at how similar our answers were. I thought that it was real neat that he believed a lot of the same things my family and I did.

The next week Daddy received a call from Andy Vawser. I had hoped that I was going to get a call into Daddy’s room that night, but I didn’t. However, the next evening Andy called again! This time Daddy did call me into his room and told me that Andy had asked permission to court me. Daddy told him that he would talk to me about it and call him back in a few days.Daddy asked me if I would be willing to enter into a courtship with Andy. I told him that I would.

A few days later, Daddy called Andy again and our first phone call was set for that Saturday. It was the 25th of October to be exact. I remember it well because that was my younger brothers’ birthday, and we had gone to my grandmother’s house for a celebration for my great- grandmother – her birthday was a few days earlier. I know for a fact that I hardly ate anything that day. I was so very nervous!When we returned home that night, my stomach was in such a state of knots that I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to untangle it. Daddy called Andy and talked to him for a bit, and then said, “Well, I have someone here who wants to talk to you.” Then he handed me the phone.

We talked for about an hour, but that conversation was just the start of many, many more. For the next month we talked, and asked all sorts of questions. Every Monday and Thursday we talked, and after each “session”, Andy and I would always pray together. It was a really neat time to get to look into Andy’s mind and see exactly what he believed, and how he felt on certain points.

By the end of November, I knew in my heart that Andy was the one that God had planned for me to marry.I wasn’t “in love” with Andy, I just knew that God had intended Andy and me to be joined for life – husband and wife. During this time, Andy and I had not been given permission to “fall in love” with each other. That was not why we were courting. Our hearts were to be with our family and with our fathers, until we knew that “love” was a direction that God was leading us too. And it was … eventually, but not during our courtship period.

Up until the middle of November, Andy and I had never seen a picture of each other – with the exception of the small one that I had seen. But like I said, it was not a very good picture, so I had no clue what he really looked like. Both of our parents did not want us to be in this courtship for the way each other looked; they wanted us to “like” each other for our personalities and who we were, not what we looked like. The world, and all of it relationships are very much based on what “looks good and how I feel about it”, and that is clearly not what the Bible teaches. We have never seen our Lord or His Son Jesus, yet we love them both with such a great love that the world cannot explain. That is the way our earthly relationships should be, though for the most part they are not. I think that is the reason that our parents choose for us to get to know each other without a picture of each other in our heads. Finally we were given clearance to see what each other looked like, and we sent pictures back and forth to each other.

A week before Christmas, the Vawser family and my family all bought web cams for a face-to-face conversation. Man! I was so nervous about getting to see the guy that I had been courting! I was excited! Our first conversation went well and we planned the next one for Christmas day.

By this time in our relationship, we had pretty much asked all the questions that we could, and the decision was made that the Vawser family would come down to Georgia for a whole week visit! I was so excited! I couldn’t wait to finally meet Andy.

Tuesday, the 30th of December, dawned bright and early. This was the day that Andy was coming! The Vawser rental car pulled up in our driveway around 4:30pm, I believe. Of course I was not out there to greet the family, as I was in the house “helping” Moma out the door. I was so, so nervous!

That whole night, Andy and I only said about five words to each other. I don’t think that we even looked at each other that evening. At one point that night, Mike and Sami (my 18 year old brother, and 15 year old sister) got on to me for not talking to Andy. I reassured them that I was ”getting around to it … don’t push me!” LOL … I can’t believe how nervous we were! It makes us laugh to think about it now!

The next day was New Years Eve and I was going to Wal-Mart with the Vawser family, minus Matt. (Matt is Andy’s younger brother). Andy and I talked some in the car, but not much. It wasn’t until half way through the store that he asked; “So, are you as nervous as me?” I told him that I was probably more nervous than him!

That night we had a few families over for a New Years Eve party! It was fun, and Andy and I talked so much that night! I think it might have been at least four hours; maybe more. I think that point was “breaking the glass” for the two of us. For the rest of the week we talked and talked!!! It was so much fun!!

Sunday arrived, and after church we sat and talked some more. Later that afternoon, we went and sat on the front porch and continued our conversations. There were plenty of interruptions that afternoon including a crazy baby, camera girls whom I had to eventually chase away, and people loudly exclaiming how we were being the “party poopers” for not joining in the Virginia Reel.

The next day was Monday. The darling Mr. and Mrs. A. Smith family came over that morning to talk with Andy and I about our courtship, and what they did with theirs, as well as answer questions that we might have had. That whole morning I was upset for I knew this was the last full day that I was going to have to spend with Andy, and by this time I was certain that I wasn’t getting an offer of marriage any time soon. I was so upset that I cried. I wasn’t sure when the next time would be, that I would be able to see Andy again. But we did have a nice visit with the Smith family and had a lot of questions answered. The rest of that afternoon was spent eating, jamming out with the many instruments, and having a good time.

After A. Smith and clan left, the rest of us dressed and cleaned up, as we had planned on going out to eat that night for dinner. We planned on Pizza so all the “Littles” (we often refer to my younger siblings as “the littles”, because it is easier than naming each one by name) were pretty excited, as we all love pizza!!!!

Daddy came home right as the Smiths were leaving, and after getting himself dressed, he and Andy went downstairs again for the second time that week. I was thinking that this time they were only going to talk, and nothing exciting would result. So after I finished getting dressed and dressing one of the little kids, I went and sat down to play the piano. Nothing much, just some chords. Andy came upstairs and walked over to the piano, and after I stopped, he asked me if it would be alright if we took a walk outside. I said; “Sure.”

So we proceeded out the door. Of course Rachael (my sweet little two year old sister) came running out, and Nate (my five year old brother) followed. I picked Rach up, and Andy was back there trying to convince Nate that he wants to go inside (I thought that it was pretty cute, because Nate and Andy buddyed up right from the start. Nate, from the moment the Vawser family arrived at our house, quickly found that Andy was a kindred spirit, and they were inseparable for the remainder of the visit).I took Rachael in and put her down in the living room and I noticed that everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

“Odd!” I thought to myself. Then I hear Daddy holler out “Get the camera quick!!” and Moma said; “SHHHHHH!!!!”

I went back outside, and during the whole walk down the driveway, I was thinking; “Oh my word … I think this is really it! I think this is it!!!!” We walked to the bottom of the drive, and Andy looked at me and said; “So … I think that we have asked all of our questions.”

“Yup; I think so.” I said.

“I only have one more question to ask, and I think this is going to be my last one, and I hope to never ask it again.” he said.

Andy then got down on one knee and asked; “Will you marry me?”

Of course I said yes (!) and then, I know this sounds terrible, but neither Andy nor myself can remember what all he said after that! I do know he asked me again to marry him. “Would you be my wife?” he said.

We then walked up the driveway. Everyone was on the front porch with cameras (hence the “Get the camera quick!!”). We walked into the house, and everyone was hugging, and some are crying, and we all are ready to eat! (I had to open my own door to the house because it was closed on me by a really cute someone – I will not say who ? – whose head was in the clouds ?) We ended the wonderful evening with pizza, games, Wal-Mart, and planning some fun stuff for the BIG day.

The next day was pretty hard as the Vawser family was leaving to go home. As everyone was walking out the door, Andy looked at me and said; “I will be back for you”. That helped me a little bit. We watched them travel down the driveway and we all waved.

That was a sad day indeed, but two months later the Vawsers flew back to Georgia, and Andy and I were officially and Biblically “engaged”, by becoming betrothed. For those of you who are unfamiliar with what exactly a betrothal is, it is a commitment from the man and woman to marry. It is almost like a “modern” engagement, but not quite. It is as binding as a marriage (without the physical binding, that comes later at the marriage ceremony itself), and needs a divorce to terminate – according to what the Bible has to say about a betrothal. A betrothal is an outward symbol of commitment and love to your spouse.

At this time of betrothal, there still are boundaries for the couple. Andy and I chose not to kiss until our wedding day. But we were allowed to, and did, hold hands. We were always chaperoned and never were allowed to be completely alone. The devil can do evil things, even for godly Christians, so that is why we were always chaperoned. It was a lot easier for us because we lived so far away, and the next time that we saw each other after our betrothal, was two days before our wedding day.

The day of our wedding dawned bright and early. Too early for me and my bridesmaids as we barely slept the night before. We climbed into bed at an ungodly hour of two, and woke up at almost six. It had rained the week of the BIG day, as well as the few weeks before it. We were worried, as we did not want rain on a beautiful outside wedding. However, the day was fully blessed by God, and was sunny and warm with a cool gentle breeze blowing.

All of us women waited at my parents’ home for the bridegroom. Because a wedding and a marriage paints a beautiful picture of our relationship with Christ, we tried as much as we could to incorporate visual images of Christ for those attending our wedding. None of us know when Christ shall return for His bride, and I didn’t know at what time on our Day Andy would come for me, to take me to the ceremony and wed me. In the parable of the ten virgins, only five were awake to meet the bride groom. I had five bridesmaids. A big feast was in order to celebrate the new family of the man, sometimes lasting for days. While ours didn’t last days … only a few hours … we did have a wonderful celebration with friends and family. So now I say … yes! Our marriage was arranged! Arranged by God and only Him!!! And I am so happy and thankful that it was! Andy and I are so much in love with each other, that we have strangers coming up to us and asking if we are newlyweds ? Life as Andy’s helpmeet and wife is wonderful! I love living in Idaho and running my own little home.

At the end of May, we found out that in February we were going to have another “arrangement”! A sweet little baby! We were ecstatic with happiness. However, our happiness was short lived. In July we found out that God needed another angel baby. We lost our little unborn bundle of joy.

It was, and still is, a hard time for both Andy and I. At the same time, we are and have drawn closer to not only each other, but we have grown closer as a couple with the Lord. He has walked us through this time of tragedy and sadness, and has carried us when we thought that we couldn’t carry ourselves anymore. Our God is such an amazing and wonderful God to care for us in the way that He does! He will bless us again, by “arranging” for us, another baby. That makes Andy and I excited! God is amazing and wonderful!