Every little girl’s dream is to grow up, marry and have lots of children. Somewhere along the way of growing up, however, that dream becomes just a dream. It vanishes as soon as they realize that being a mother is scorned on by the world. They look to the world for direction for their future. Being a mother is the last thing those girls want. “To be tied down to a man and stay at home with his children…UGH!”. That is what the women of this world now say.
I knew that I wanted to get married and have lots of children when I was nine. I was going to get married right after I finished high school and start on a family at the tender age of eighteen. As I got older and unfortunately learned more about the world, I somehow lost sight of my dream. A darling dream that now seemed like a burden.
In 2005 graduation came and went and soon I turned eighteen. I knew I wasn’t getting married anytime soon. So, thinking to myself…that solves that “problem” for now. The day after I turned eighteen, I left Georgia and traveled with my brother to Chicago to work with a ministry and serve our Lord. I was there for three months and was pretty well protected from the evils of the world.
Or so I thought. Little did I know that I had the seeds of “discontentment” and “being independent” planted into my heart. Seeds that turned into weeds, choking out all of the dreams that I used to have as a little girl. I now felt that I had to get out of the house and pursue a career to make a name for myself. No longer did I have a strong desire to marry the man God has for me and raise a godly heritage for HIS name. No longer did I want to be around my family. According to the world, and I foolishly listened to it, I no longer needed my parents help, protection, permission, support, and love. My home was a place where I was only going to be “sheltered” and “oppressed” from what I wanted.
At nineteen I left my father’s house, completely removing myself from his authority and protection; giving Satan more than just a strong hold on my heart. For three months I battled. My heart; my parents; the Lord; my siblings; the world. Everything seemed to be a part of that war. At one point I finally hit rock bottom. That was my turning point. God used that circumstance to turn my heart back to Him.
At the beginning of this year I came back home. I was the prodigal daughter. Now I was property of the Lord once again. Coming back home was easier said than done, however. I personally had returned, but there was still some of the world in my heart. I finally gave everything to the Lord. I told Him that I did not want to worry about anything; I wanted to be content about being single. At this time, right before I made the decision to surrender to HIS will, I was having a very hard time being content with my “singleness”. It was something that I was struggling with. An area in my life that I wasn’t certain that I had fully given over to God yet. It didn’t help much that alot of my friends where leaving the path of single-hood and moving on to other married paths of life.
But I soon realized that my “problem” was me. I wasn’t content with my season of life. I didn’t fully trust my father and the Lord to provide a husband for me. I thought that in order to be truly happy, I had to be married. Or at least courting. How wrong I was!!! Sisters please!! If you think that, please, please; for the sake of not only you but your family as well, DON’T think that ever again. Don’t even think of thinking about that! It is so not true!
After I told God that I wanted to be content where I was, life was different. Even more so now than before I found that I truly, truly enjoyed my life as first a daughter of the Lord and then a daughter to my father. I loved to be a big sister! I mean, I loved it before too, but now I found a new joy in my occupation as a stay-at-home-maiden.
Now don’t get me wrong; I am by no means a perfect person. I don’t even come close to it. In fact, none of us do. Jesus Christ was and still is the only perfect person. We can never ever even try to measure up to His perfection.
About a week after I completely gave the Lord my discontented, single heart, I was asked by my father to pray for a certain young man from Idaho. After about two months of praying, my father was asked by this young man to court me. We have now been courting since October 25th. But the whole reason that I told you that is not to tell you that if you give your heart to the Lord, He will send you someone to court a few weeks later. Not at all! The Lord may want you to wait. You may already be courting or even engaged. I wanted to tell you all this because I don’t want you to make some of the same mistakes that I made. I don’t want you younger girls to believe the lies of the world and completely lose sight of one of the greatest commands of the Lord. (“Be fruitful and multiply” Genesis 1:28)
I don’t want any of the older girls to become discontented with their occupation as a sister and daughter. A friend once told me at a place that I volunteered at back in February, “God will always send workers to fill a position of service. But an older sister and daughter cannot ever be replaced.”
That has stuck with me and has reminded me of why I am at home with my family. I pray that you also, sisters, will never lose focus on your dream and why the Lord has you where you are. Trust me, He certainly has you at home for a reason. You may not see it now, but you will be glad that you trusted in our Lord. He knows what He is doing. Don’t ever doubt Him!!!
“For I know the thoughts that I have towards you,’ says the Lord. ” thoughts of good and not evil. To give you a future and hope.” Jeremiah 29:11