As a child growing up, I attended church on a regular basis with my family but I viewed it mostly as a social event. My first grade teacher was a Christian, however, and she read us a true story about a missionary that gave me an almost obsessive desire to please God. I even attempted to read the Bible in the third grade, but didn’t even make it through Genesis. At that time I assumed that pleasing God was simply a matter of being a “good” person by doing the “right” things and that Christ was merely our example.

This misunderstanding of God was evident in my actions. When I was quite young I found a broken bracelet with the Ten Commandments on it at a rummage sale and carried it around in my pocket as a reminder of what I should and should not do. While in high school, no matter how hard I worked, I felt as though I should be working harder. I got mostly straight A’s, lettered in sports, went to State for music competition, helped at church, worked part-time, and was even voted the “hardest working junior” by the senior class. I was convinced that hard work and sacrifice were the keys to pleasing God and making a contribution to society. In addition, the standard that I used to determine this was largely the praise of man. I thought that if I pleased people I must be pleasing God too.

Despite my “success” in the world’s eyes, I was a very confused young woman which is obvious from the following journal entry that I made while in high school. At this time I was living with my father, step mother, and two sisters following the divorce of my father and mother. I was in a public school and attended what most would call a pretty liberal church.

“I wish I could trade places with someone who lived about a hundred years ago… I know women weren’t treated as very important then, which wasn’t fair, but there are some things about the past I like. For instance, sometimes I feel like I have too many choices, that I have too much control over my future. Back then it seems it would have been simple. I would probably get married young and stay home and raise children. To tell the truth I don’t think I would have minded. Women worked hard back then but I think hard work is good… Families seemed to be closer back then also. They would do more together, even if it was only work. But I live today and I have to live the way people live today but I can still long for yesterday.”

During my senior year, because of the influence of my favorite teacher, I considered making an application to one of the military academies. I remember distinctly the comment made to me by another teacher when he learned of my potential plans. He said to me, “You don’t want to do that. You want to get married and have a family.”

The truth is that he hit the nail right on the head. That is EXACTLY what I wanted to do but I had no idea how to go about it. I didn’t know of any colleges that gave degrees for that. I had no idea where a girl graduating from high school was supposed to go if that was her real desire. In fact I wasn’t about to admit that I had such a desire since it was looked down upon by much of society, including me. At that time I decided against making an application to obtain a military academy appointment, but I still lacked direction.

After graduating from high school I did what I perceived was expected of me and went off to college. I started out at a small liberal arts college and planned to major in music. My true desire remained to marry and have a family, but as a child of divorce I had no example of how to make a marriage work, so for the most part, I pushed aside these thoughts. School, on the other hand, was another matter; I knew that if I worked hard enough I could master that. Even so I knew that something was missing from my life but I didn’t know what it was. I thought I was a Christian and even prayed to God, but I was very confused regarding this area of my life. I never seemed to have a peace regarding the direction of my life or the choices that I made. I remember seeking counsel from older people that I admired, but they often seemed just as confused as me.

After one year at this small college I decided to go ahead and pursue an appointment to the Air Force Academy. Because I struggled with making decisions regarding my future I figured this way I would let the military make those decisions for me. I also knew that I would have to work very hard so I thought that I would be making the best use of the gifts that God had given me. Besides, I felt guilty studying music since it was something that I loved, so I decided to pursue an engineering degree instead. My favorite high school teacher walked me through the entire process and I received an appointment from my congressman to enter with the class of 1994 in June of 1990.

At the Academy I found myself working harder than I ever had in my life. I excelled physically (at one time I could do 25 pull-ups), academically (I graduated 42nd out of 1011 in my class, the top civil engineering graduate), and militarily (I was the Wing Executive Officer my senior year). I met wonderful people, traveled to exotic places (Japan, Korea, Hawaii, many other states), and did exciting things (jumped out of perfectly good airplanes, sang with the Cadet Chorale on the Country Music Awards and Miss USA Pageant). However, I still lacked peace.

Both while at the small college and while at the Academy I attended church and Bible studies from time to time in an attempt to do the “right” thing and be a “good” person. It wasn’t until I read the book “More Than a Carpenter” by Josh McDowell, however, that I realized that in order to be saved and have the peace that I longed for it was necessary to believe that Christ was who He said He was and that He did what the Bible says He did. This occurred somewhere in my second or third year at the Academy. Although I did read the Bible after becoming a true believer my growth at the Academy was quite slow since I was still so focused on succeeding there.

My real spiritual growth took place after graduation when I got involved in a serious Bible study program that the Lord used to really start transforming my mind. As I grew in the Lord I became more and more uncomfortable with being a female in the military even though my career field did not require me to be in combat. Thankfully, I only owed the Air Force five years of service for my education and was able to get out when I really started struggling with this.

After leaving the Air Force I didn’t know what I was going to do next, but I had peace because I trusted that the Lord would lead me. I had saved up a good deal of money and decided to take some time off from working in order to reevaluate my entire life in light of the Gospel. I felt a need to look at every area of my life and bring it in line with what God’s Word said about it. It was largely during this reevaluation process that the Lord showed me that it was not only okay for me to want to be a wife and mother, but that it was a very good thing. He also showed me that it was never too late to prepare even though I felt very behind the power curve since I was already 30 years old and had very few domestic abilities. I could clean and organize well though. Military life did teach me that much ?.

Although I fully expected to enter the foreign mission field following my intense life reevaluation phase, in 2001 the Lord led me to return to my hometown and work on relationships with my family (especially my Dad).

In 2005 at the age of 35 (just short of 36) the Lord blessed me with a godly husband.

(We will now let Paula and her husband Todd take turns sharing the story of their relationship – Editor)

Paula says:

When I got out of the Air Force I signed up for Samaritan’s Ministry Newsletter instead of getting health insurance. One month I sent money and one of my CDs to Tina Hoffman. Upon receipt of my gift and the CD Tina wrote me a letter that included an invitation to visit them on their farm in Kentucky. I took her up on her offer in June of 2002 and visited for about ten days. During my stay we visited a health food store (Wild Oats) in Nashville, TN where we met Tom and Annie Washburn and their children.

The Hoffmans and Washburns became pretty good friends and visited some back and forth after I returned to WI. During the course of one of their visits Tina shared my CD with them and they, in turn, shared it with their friend, Todd. I think this was around the fall of 2003. Tina mentioned Todd to me at the time but I wasn’t too interested since I was hoping to hear from another fellow and shortly after I gave up on him I started seeing someone else.

Todd says:

In the summer of 2003 my friends Tom and Annie Washburn told me of a woman they had met named Paula Thorson, whom they thought I should meet, and they gave me a CD of songs that she had written and performed. One of the things they told me at the time was that they understood that anyone interested in a relationship with her would have to be willing to move to Wisconsin. Paula has since told me that this was not what she said, but only that she was hoping to meet a man in WI. However, at the time I understood it as a firm requirement. I could not even consider starting a relationship by acquiescing to such a “demand”.

So I listened to the CD and enjoyed it but did not give a second thought to meeting this woman. Then, in the spring of 2005 Annie informed me that the WI requirement had been removed and once again suggested that I correspond with Paula. Annie also told me that Paula had just ended a relationship with another guy so I suggested that it would be the gentlemanly thing to invite Paula to write me when she thought she was ready.

Paula says:

In November of 2004 the Above Rubies newsletter came out with my article about my niece, April’s, birth in it which stated at the end that I hoped to marry and have a family one day. I had considered submitting my article to Above Rubies before, but didn’t do so until the fall after spending time helping in the Above Rubies office, since at that time they specifically requested that people submit birth stories. It was by God’s grace that my story was published as they received far too many responses to publish them all. Annie Washburn read the article and noticed that I was apparently still single. She then wrote to me and inquired about my status. I wrote back and told her that I had been seeing someone for over a year and was hopeful that we had a future together. I told her I would let her know if things fell through.

About the time that “things fell through” I received another letter from her with some advice and I wrote her back and informed her that the relationship was indeed over. She then wrote again and sent me Todd’s email address which I used that very day. Todd and I then began a lengthy and deep correspondence. He would have contacted me first, but he and Annie weren’t sure if I was ready to correspond with someone so soon after breaking up. I had actually considered taking three months off from men after my breakup but a friend counseled me against making hard and fast rules and encouraged me to be sensitive to the Lord’s leading. Good and timely advice indeed. (Todd’s comment)

Todd says:

I received my first email from Paula on April 11th, 2005. From the beginning of our correspondence I was struck by how well we seemed to communicate with each other. And as we continued to write back and forth I was continually amazed by the many beliefs, hopes, dreams and other things we seemed to have in common.

Because my father served in the Air Force and Paula had spent time in the AF as well, we have lived in several of the same places, although at different times. We have very similar visions for the future, family, and service to our Lord. We have similar tastes in food and a desire for healthy living. I could go on and on. It has become quite obvious to me that our Lord has been preparing us for each other for a long time. At this point I can honestly say that if I had ever written out a list of things I have been praying for in a wife I could write Paula’s name at the top of the page.

(Editor’s Note: Todd and Paula were married in September 2005, in Wisconsin. My family and I were very happy to be a part of not just the wedding, but the whole “courtship” process! They moved to Todd’s house in TN after the wedding.)

In 2006 the Lord blessed us with a son and in 2007 He blessed us with twin daughters. I am now living the life that I once only dreamed of. If I would have known the Lord sooner I certainly wouldn’t have chosen the path that I walked, but God is faithful and used even my bad decisions to bring about a good end. Out of all of the things that I’ve done in my life, being a wife and mother is by far the most challenging and most rewarding, and out of all the places that I’ve been in my life, my favorite place on earth is home.