Shining Stars Magazine

Encouraging Ladies of All Ages In Femininity And Biblical Womanhood

  • Home
  • About
  • Magazine
    • The Publication
    • Our Story
    • Current Issue
    • Back Issues
    • Articles
  • Blog
  • Store
  • Contact
  • My Account
    • Edit Account
    • Edit Address
    • Lost Password
    • Shopping Cart

Hospitality – Exploring A Rare Accomplishment

July 18, 2016

Hospitality – this unfamiliar godly principle is spoken of in Romans, 1 Timothy, Titus and finally in 1 Peter 4:9.  In Romans, Timothy and Titus, the direct command to “be given to showing hospitality” is given for all church leaders but according to Peter, it is considered a must for everyone.

Hospitality - Exploring A Rare Accomplishment

For this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit. But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch to prayer. And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging. As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. 1 Peter 4:6-9

We tend to think of hospitality as the challenging and often overwhelming role of being a host.  Being a host and being hospitable are two different things.  Being hospitable is a virtue that American culture is fast losing.  Fast paced life styles, constant business and agendas waiting to be met, are shutting down this avenue of relations and styling a life of external indifference and internal recluse.  Hospitality is played out in an often business-like or premeditated form.  Hospitality in American culture may mean inviting friends to our house for occasional meals, parties or socializing in some public event. To the American mentality, hospitality means lots extra work, salary depletion and time lost from our jobs, hobbies, sports and personal time.

As Christians, I think it is very necessary that we rethink and become re-accustomed to hospitality the way God wants us to see it, and begin practicing the fervent charity and ungrudging hospitality.  I have heard 1 Peter 4:9 described in this way: “Hospitality is a gift just as the gift of evangelism.  If God has given you the gift of hospitality then you should minister the same.”  This is definitely the wrong way to look at it.  The Lord is telling us:

… as every man hath received the gift … of the manifold grace of God … even so minister the same[manifold grace of God] one to another, as good stewards …

To use the excuse that you just weren’t called to show hospitality, is like giving God’s own promise of grace an edge.  It’s like saying “maybe I wasn’t called to receive the grace of God”.  We all know that His grace is for everyone who believes on Him.

Hospitality in its essence is – making yourself available to others.  Hospitality is not just inviting people to your house for a meal, a Sunday afternoon visit or giving up your bed, but includes being there for someone who needs to talk, being willing to pray with someone, allowing someone into your heart, going out of your way to befriend, noticing needs and meeting them as the opportunity arises.  Practicing to make yourself available to others is something that you can do no matter what your situation may be.

For some single young ladies, the idea of practicing hospitality by inviting someone to your home for a meal may be more of a liberty than she is permitted by her parents.  However, there are so many other things you can do if your heart is to learn this virtue.  I will attempt to share a few of my own experiences and some practical advice in this direction.  I promise you, you will find hospitality an addictive joy and a virtue that will bring you so much fulfillment.

The first thing I would like to say is, learn hospitality with your family.  Is it difficult to reach out to your family members and give of yourself to them?  Think of ways to surprise, bless and serve your dad and the male figures in your life.  This may seem very strange but is a crucial step in learning to serve.

Being a servant to your mom is very good but learning to attend to the needs of your man is very important, first of all as a daughter and, later in life, as a wife.  There is no way that you can fully prepare yourself for the life you will live after you are married but there is no doubt that it will be easy for you to be a sweet, collected wife and mother, if you learn the art of hospitality with your own family.  Where better place to learn than working alongside your mother and sisters to continuously surprise your father and brothers with tasty meals, cold drinks of water, a bright smile and warm loving atmosphere?

Be an eager beaver in including other people in your life … this is where hospitality takes place.  It may be by building relationships within your immediate family but it also goes so much farther by including your friends, relatives and neighbors, along with the host of people who continuously flow in and out of your life.

I was raised with the mentality that hospitality is work – lots of extra work – and a way to impress the guests with food and a good time.  Our house is rather small and my parents weren’t always of great means.  It was therefore a huge family affair and we as a family made huge efforts to occasionally invite a family of our friends over for a meal or a Sunday afternoon.  My parents were raised in a culture where guests were treated as royalty, food was abundant and having the house spotlessly clean was a necessity.

Even now at times I instinctively think of Victorian hospitality as idealistic.  Unfortunately we no longer have maids and butlers to do all our work, therefore it’s us doing the frantic hurrying about, trying to be both maid and hostess.  I know that this is one of the biggest reasons that I would ever find hospitality overwhelming.  We are setting our standards by standards that are no longer normal.  Rather than worrying so much about the impression we are leaving, we should slow down and think of our guests as real, normal people and enjoy them!

Hospitality - Exploring A Rare Accomplishment

I have visited many, many homes and there is one that stands out to me above all the others.  I have never felt more at home anywhere, as I could feel there.  I think I could count on one hand the times that I entered that home and yet it seemed that when I walked in the door it was as though I was arriving home.  It wasn’t that the family was messy or, on the other extreme, spotless.  It wasn’t that they treated me like a princess, nor did they make me feel like a nobody – when I was there they made me feel like one of them.  It wasn’t that I was a lifelong friend of the family; they just knew how to give what they had and they were themselves.  I think that the greatest way to show hospitality is being real and giving the gift of yourself to the one whom you are trying to serve.

Usually, a false front is more obvious to the guest than to the one putting it on.  People who put on fronts somehow tend to convince themselves that they really are the people they are pretending to be.  Uncomfortable guests are most likely uncomfortable because you are uncomfortable.

Once I was in a home of a family of fronts.  Everyone was as stiff as cardboard and although I was enjoying spending time with my dear friend, the meal with the whole family was awful.  I never want to relive the experience.  The food was passed in the most dignified way.  Everyone was polite and quiet and well mannered.  Suddenly the “perfect” family meal was bashed out and real people began to sob through sodden teary shells.  What I thought was a stiff, polite, nice family, had turned into a bowl of seething anger and bitter tears, selfishness and impatience.

One of the little girls was sent away from the table for a slight misdemeanor (that I hadn’t even noticed because it happens all the time at our house too).  She had embarrassed her family in front of me and was being punished.  I asked my friend later if such actions were consistent and she said, “No, I’m sure Dad just didn’t want to embarrass you.”  I said to my dear friend, “I was more embarrassed by what happened.  Your poor sister can hardly bare to face me again.”  Not only was the family uncomfortable with me as a guest but now I knew it too.

When you have guests, be yourself.  Guests love seeing YOU and they will love you just like you are normally, just as your family loves you for who you are.  At our house, guests are becoming highlights and the simplest pleasures of all.

Check back next week for the sequel – Practical Tips For Being Hospitable
(This article was originally published in Volume1 Number4/Winter 2008.  You can request the entire issue in PDF on this page.)
Possibly sharing at: The Modest Mom, Mama Moments, The Art of Home-Making Monday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Titus 2sdays, Roses Of Inspiration, So Much At Home, A Wise Woman, Raising Homemakers, A Little R&R, Coffee and Conversation, Hearts for Home, Growing in Grace, Imparting Grace, SHINE Blog Hop, Grace and Truth, Fellowship Fridays, The Homemaking Party.

Shining Stars

Shining Stars is a ministry designed to encourage ladies of all ages in femininity and Biblical womanhood. We offer a quarterly publication (which you can find here) as well as regular blog posts in an effort to provide encouragement and inspiration. We hope that what you read on this site is a blessing and encouragement to you and we would love to hear from you!

Facebook Google+ 

Share this:

  • Print
  • Email
  • Tweet
«
»

Filed Under: Homemakers 7 Comments

About Shining Stars

Shining Stars is a ministry designed to encourage ladies of all ages in femininity and Biblical womanhood. We offer a quarterly publication (which you can find here) as well as regular blog posts in an effort to provide encouragement and inspiration. We hope that what you read on this site is a blessing and encouragement to you and we would love to hear from you!

Comments

  1. Dianne Plourde says

    July 18, 2016 at 5:29 pm

    Again, a wonderful article … wonderfully & thoughtfully written. I have often drawn back from entertaining for so many silly reasons. This was an encouraging exhortation to be ourselves and give of what we have, both inwardly and outwardly. Thank you.

    Reply
  2. RebekahRebekah says

    July 20, 2016 at 9:57 pm

    Very encouraging! Hospitality is really a very important ministry and great way to fellowship as well as evangelize. My family just LOVES cookin’ up a big meal for guests.

    Reply
  3. Carlie says

    July 21, 2016 at 8:05 am

    Such a refreshing and inspiring article, yet all at once biblically sound. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and appreciate all that you do to shine for Christ.

    Reply
  4. Sarah Jean says

    July 21, 2016 at 8:32 am

    Not a hospitable person by nature, I am trying to learn this skill now as a newly married woman. My husband and I plan dinners with other couples or singles from work and church and I’m getting less stressed about the house being pinterest perfect, as I am that they are comfortable and enjoy their time.

    Reply
  5. Maria says

    July 21, 2016 at 12:28 pm

    “Hospitality in its essence is – making yourself available to others. ” What a wonderful and inspiring piece. I never thought of hospitality this way, but you’re so right! It’s more than just inviting someone for a meal on a Sunday…Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us on #shinebloghop today!

    Reply
  6. Vanessa says

    July 25, 2016 at 2:18 am

    I loved this article… we recently moved to a new country and I’m struggling with hospitality and relationship building in general. Really appreciate your thoughts 🙂

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Practical Tips For Being Hospitable says:
    July 25, 2016 at 5:06 am

    […] You may enjoy the first post in this series: Hospitality – Exploring A Rare Accomplishment. […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Your Cart

Welcome to the online home of Shining Stars where we strive to provide encouragement and inspiration for ladies of all ages! Shining Stars Magazine is a quarterly publication that was begun in 2008 in an effort to provide encouragement to unmarried young ladies but we are now blessed to be able to reach readers of all ages around the globe. Read More...

Search This Website:

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Google+
  • Pinterest
  • RSS

Receive Blog Posts Via Email

Featured Posts

Modesty And Conformity

Modesty And Conformity

He Does Not Need Our Help

He Does Not Need Our Help

Spread the Word!

Has Shining Stars Magazine been of encouragement to you? Please share our button ad on your blog/website! Just take the grab code below each image & paste on a HTML widget on your site!

Find other button ad styles HERE

Our Best Sellers

  • PREORDER - Volume10 Number1 $5.00 – $9.00
  • Back Issues - Volume7 Number3 $3.00 – $7.00
  • Back Issues - Volume9 Number2 $3.00 – $7.00
  • Back Issue - Volume9 Number3 $3.00 – $7.00
  • My Account

All Content Copyright © 2018 · Shining Stars Magazine | Design by Rosi & Co. Design Studio

Free Bible Verse Art Printables

{"cookieName":"wBounce","isAggressive":false,"isSitewide":true,"hesitation":"","openAnimation":false,"exitAnimation":false,"timer":"10","sensitivity":"","cookieExpire":"20","cookieDomain":"","autoFire":"10","isAnalyticsEnabled":false}
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.