Feminine purity is a part of coming closer to God in faith, specifically in dealing with romantic relationships. I think it is very important and I am blessed to share what’s on my heart about it! God has taught me something new about purity and blessed me more every day because of it. But it’s a hard subject with which many girls wrestle at a young age.
When I was ten and eleven, there was nothing that I loved more than boys. My entire life revolved around my latest crush! Sadly, I didn’t even treat these guys very well. I didn’t even love them for them; in truth, they served as my mirrors – my way of getting more of me. It was pure pride and selfishness. To me, boys reflected me. At that time I was new in faith but in love with God. Until boys came around … then I was so stupid as to close the Lord out of my romantic relationships, and in doing so, closed Him out of more and more of my entire life.
Then when we moved and God put less friends and guys in my life for that time, I was confused and sad. I was heartsick over the last guy. I just couldn’t understand – why did I feel so incomplete without him, though I had only known him for six months? The Lord used my heart right there, in the feeling of in-completion. That’s where He taught me and met me. I am sorry that I spent so much time neglecting my other relationships while focusing on boys, but I am thankful for that time because the Lord taught me so much from it!
I am so thankful for my Lord Jesus! Every day I fall in love with Him more than the day before. He is so wonderful! He is my King, over all my life. Once the Lord was shut out of my love, now He is the director of it. I used to wonder if He cared about who I loved; now He is my love. My first love and Master over all of my life! That’s an important thing to grasp – God is interested in all areas of your life! As Mark 12:29-31 says:
“And Jesus answered him , ‘The first of all commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.’”
The Lord is my King. He loves me. And I love Him. We can never be complete without God. He created us to desire to be cherished, to want to be treasured and precious. When He put man on the earth, He gave him dominion (Genesis 1-27-28) but saw that man needed a partner (Genesis 2:18). So Adam searched through all the creatures on earth, but found none suitable as a helper (Genesis 2:19-20). The Lord created woman as a helper to man. Genesis 2:23-24:
“And Adam said, ‘this is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, for she was taken out of man.’ Therefore man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Because of our creation as a part of man and as his helpmeet, we often feel incomplete without him. So often we stumble through relationships, trying to find completion. In the meanwhile, we cast our Father aside or merely forget how much He loves us, how He made us and that we bring Him pleasure as His daughters. Only the Lord can really complete us!
I pray that young women can see His love; that we can grasp even a glimpse of His immense goodness. I know life can pass us by without us ever recognizing this love. If the Lord is the Master of my life, He is the most important in EVERY part, including love. Often we don’t want to realize this, because we know it means changing! But God has us claimed for Himself and He has a plan for even the smallest details of life. He is in charge!
And the simple truth is; only He completes us entirely. He plans for mankind to be given in marriage, unless specially called to singleness, and He plans for people to have long, blessed lives in partnership. But even if this is not His plan for you, He still has MANY wonderful blessings in store, because He is the ultimate love of your life.
We have a lot of growing to do. It is hard to admit that I am an infant in the faith but it is true. I can only trust God to nourish my faith as His plan is revealed. I pray for Him to lead me; and it is a joy to ask Him to! Someday I pray He will show me His plan. No matter what, all my life, I must seek the Lord.
The Bible has plenty to say on the subject of purity. As daughters of God, His Word is precious to us as the standard for Christ-like living! That’s why we look to it as authority in this area as in all areas. The Scripture sets love between humans as an example of Christ and the church (church in this term meaning the entire Body of Christ, not just the building in which we gather).
Study closely Ephesians 5, verses 19-33:
“Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church: and He is the savior of the Body. Therefore as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself up for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious Church, not having a spot, or a wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth it and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church: for we are members of His Body, of His flesh, and of His bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
In this passage we see many very important things in regard to the relationship between the husband and wife, and thus Christ and the Church. Let’s look carefully at verses 20 and 21:
“Giving thanks always for all things unto God the Father in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ;”
“submitting to one another in the fear of God.”
From these verses we see that we are to give thanks in all things, including submission! We learn from verses 23-24 that the man is head (in charge, protector and leader) of the woman whom, as we learn in Proverbs 31, 1Timothy 5:14 and other such passages, has the very important and worthy role of helpmeet to the man. Then the Scriptures take this relationship between man and woman and set it as example of Christ and the church. We must understand how important this is. Though it is a joyful and wonderful blessing, it is not to be taken lightly. It’s important that we mirror the image of Christ and the church well, to bring glory to God.
Verses 25-27 say:
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself up for it.; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious Church, not having a spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing ; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”
By now you may be wondering what this passage has to do with purity before marriage, since it seems to deal with couples already married. The answer is this passage. Jesus bore our sin and washed us clean so that we can be ‘holy and without blemish ’. This passage clearly shows that a Christian marriage is an example of the relationship of Christ and the church. Imagine the Body of Christ getting tired of waiting for Him to return. Imagine them ‘trying out’ other gods; wasting their love on temporary relationships. Is that a holy example of devotion to the Lord?
Then what does our example of dating say? Furthermore, how will our future husbands be affected by our dating? When we do get married, which I believe is God’s plan for most of His children, will they feel loved and cherished knowing that we have loved other young men? If he could see your actions and heart all the time, as our Lord does, would he be proud and inspired by you? The Bible also says in Proverbs 31:10-12:
“Who can find a virtuous woman?” For her price is above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. ”
All the days of her life. That means today, too, though you are not married yet. God has laid this verse on my heart and I pray every day that He will help me to live it. It’s not easy and I fall often, but He is changing me.
The Book of Proverbs warns men over and over again not to give their hearts to ‘loose women’, meaning women who are easy to get. Instead the Bible blesses women and men who are faithful to waiting and cherish their gift of love for the special plan God has for them.
A good example of faithful waiting is the story of Abigail, found in 1 Samuel 25. Abigail was a woman of ‘good understanding’ and ‘a beautiful countenance’ but married to a man, Nabal, who was ‘churlish and evil in his doings’. Samuel, the beloved prophet, had just died and the Israelites gathered to lament him. That day, not too far away from the gathering, Nabal was shearing his flock of sheep. When this word came to David, he sent ten young men to greet Nabal in peace and ask him for food and drink allotted to Nabal’s shearers to be allotted to David and his men as well. Tyrannical Nabal threw a fit of anger over the request. When David got the news, he was angry too and told his men to get their swords. About 400 of them rode with him to cast revenge on Nabal.
Thankfully, one of the shearers told Abigail what happened before David’s men returned. Abigail understood that David would not leave a single man in Nabal’s household alive. She thought quickly and loaded some donkeys with food and drinks as gifts and set off to meet David in the field before he reached her home. Abigail greeted David with great humility. She took her husband’s misdeeds as her own guilt and pleaded to him and reminded him of the Lord’s mercy. Presenting the gifts, she asked for mercy from David to her husband and he, filled with the love of his Lord and recognizing her wisdom, accepted and blessed her.
When Abigail returned home, she found her husband drunk and careless. She waited until the next morning to tell him what happened. When he heard what had happened, he was struck paralyzed and he died ten days later. Hearing of the wicked man’s death, David rejoiced and praised God. Joyfully he sent for Abigail’s hand in marriage. What did Abigail say when she heard of his proposal? ‘Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord (meaning David).’
There are many reasons why their marriage was so blessed and the most important was that the Lord dwelt in every thought of Abigail’s heart, and that He dwelt in David’s heart as well, so that when he understood her wisdom, he turned to God for every action he took. They praised and reminded each other of the Lord diligently. Judging from her speech and actions, we can tell that God was Abigail’s first love, first priority.
Secondly, Abigail honored her husband Nabal. You must understand that in Abigail’s time, she was likely given in marriage without her own consent. It is also possible that her father was not a faithful, godly man. Yet in obedience to the Lord she respected her father’s decision and honored her husband. In fact, in her wise thinking and quick work, she saved his life! Another important virtue of Abigail was that she was humble. Her heart was not looking for her immediate wishes but the welfare of her husband, her household and of David.
Lastly, she persevered. She did not let Nabal’s ungodliness pull her own devotion to the Lord down, but rather flourished in faith and virtue. She carefully considered her actions and looked to the Lord as authority in all things. She did not seek an end to her marriage to Nabal but rather cherished the season of learning and faith as God’s plan took place. Because of her faith, patience and pure heart of love for him, He blessed her life.
The blessings that were given to Abigail are only one example of the treasures God blesses us with. Proverbs 31:30 says:
“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”
I pray that every day He’s blessing you in purity, grace and love!