Often over the years, I would wonder if I would ever get married. I would listen to the people telling me that no man would want to marry me for this or that reason, and I would think, “Isn’t there just one man out there who could love me? Just one man who wants a wife like me?”
At one particularly low point in my life, I was seriously wondering if I needed to compromise my standards some. I mean, seriously, if YHWH created men and yet no man wanted a wife that dressed modestly, was a keeper at home, didn’t date, etc … then perhaps it was because YHWH created men to not want women like that, in which case it was I that needed to change. Right?
In the midst of all my questions and temptations, YHWH began to ask me some hefty questions.
YHWH: “Why do you dress the way you do?”
ME: “Because that is what I believe is pleasing to You.”
YHWH: “Why don’t you date?”
ME: “Because that isn’t pleasing to You.”
YHWH: “Why are you a stay-at-home daughter?”
ME: “Because that is pleasing to You.”
YHWH: “So you do what you do and live the way you do because that is pleasing to Me, but you are considering no longer doing those things in order to hopefully please a man enough to marry you? Which is more important to you – pleasing Me or getting married? I created marriage, and I created men. If I want you married, don’t you think I could bring that to pass if you are living a life that is pleasing to me?”
I had never thought of it that way before and I knew the answer the instant He asked the question which one was more important to me – HIM. I loved Him and for years I have wanted more than anything to see Him smile and hear Him say “Well done, my child. Welcome home!” when I get to heaven’s gate. That night I knew I could let go of all the lies Satan was trying to use to discourage and lead me astray, and just focus whole-heartedly on pleasing YHWH and being the person He wanted me to be.
A few months later, my just-older-than-me sister, who I was extremely close to, started a courtship. All the things that people had told her over the years she needed to change or no man would want to marry her, were the very things her husband had been praying for in a wife. I’m not talking about some things – I am talking about everything. Right down to the style of skirt she wore! As I watched how much YHWH had been preparing the two of them for each other, I realized for the first time that He makes ALL things beautiful in His time, and that He had a special plan for me, and I just needed to be me. He didn’t need me to be like someone else – He needed me to be me – the unique, special individual that He created me to be.
The more I embraced His will for my life and sought to please Him instead of trying to become the person I thought others (especially men) wanted me to be, the more peace and freedom I had. Sure, there was still an ache inside, but I knew it was all very much in YHWH’s hands, and if He wanted me married, He could work it out.
Why am I telling you all this? Because I have seen so many girls throw all their standards out the window and do whatever it took to get a boyfriend, marrying the first guy that asked them regardless of how little he resembled the man of their dreams.
Girls, I am here to tell you that the wait is SO worth it! Don’t settle for less than YHWH’s best for you. Dream big, and pray bigger, but don’t settle for anyone other than YHWH’s chosen best for you!
There were times over the years that I would see a young man that seemed to be the kind of man I was waiting, praying, and preparing for. I would think, “YHWH, how could it possibly get any better than this? Surely this is the one you have chosen for me!” But now that I am betrothed, I am entirely awed at how much better and more blessed is YHWH’s chosen one for me! None of my wildest dreams fully captured the treasure I now call my husband. I know this sounds like a bunch of gushy stuff, but it is the truth. Every tiny little thing that I ever prayed, hoped, dreamed, and waited for has come true. Sure we are both still human, and neither of us are any more perfect today than we were before we met, but as far as what I wanted in a husband – I am awed!
Please believe me – the wait is SO worth it! My husband is 30 and I am 23. We both would have chosen to get married years ago (I always said I wanted to get married when I was 18!), but YHWH in His wisdom knew we weren’t ready. Was it hard at times? Absolutely! Did we sometimes wonder if it would ever happen or if we were holding out for an unrealistic dream? I know I did! But now that it has happened, and we have been able to see the wonderful work YHWH has been doing “behind the scenes” all these years, we are completely awed! It is amazing beyond words to see all the ways He has prepared us for each other.
He wants to do the same for you – will you let Him? Are you willing to wait while He works out all the details, or are you going to try taking things into your own hands like the biblical Sarah did? Are you willing to let Him use you however He chooses, even if that means being single longer than what you would like? Are you willing to continue pleasing Him regardless of your marital status, or only if He lets you get married this year? Oh, how I pray you choose to trust and serve Him no matter what! He has a beautiful plan for you that is beyond your wildest dreams!